DEFINIG YOUR RELATIONSHIP FROM THE START

You should try as much as you can to always define your relationship from the beginning, know the reason why you are going into that relationship in the first place. A relationship that lacks direction, will be heading to failure sooner than expected.

Have you ever used this language, "let's just start first, we'll know where it's taking us?" I'm truly surprised if this is you. An intelligent person wouldn't use such a language no matter the circumstance.

There's a difference between deliberately heading to failure and failure coming as a mistake. Let's just assume that you've made such mistakes in the past, you shouldn't let it happen again.

I've long stopped allowing such guys come near me for relationship whether I am ready or not. Are you going to keep sucking me dry on every aspect without me knowing where we are heading? What a dumb way to think.

I know that you may want to justify yourself with the issue of you not being ready. If you aren't ready to build a meaningful relationship that is heading somewhere soon, then you don't have any business in that relationship.

This is one bitter question I've always asked myself whenever I advise myself. How many guys are you gonna let into your life to brutalise you before you finally settle down? Is it proper to keep many relationship before marriage? No, it isn't. This is why you should always be concerned about the intention of your partner about you. If he/she isn't ready, then let go before it's too late.

This is why you should be deliberate about your relationship.

I recently got a message from a friend about her broken relationship of six years. Let's hear what she has to say.

Faith: Hello Dolly, I am deeply hurt because the guy I spent six years of relationship with, just gave me a big shock! He said that he was just playing with my emotions, he also said that he knew he wasn't gonna get married to me but he acted so emotional every time we had a misunderstanding and I'm ready to quit, he'd come beg and even cry that if I ever leave him, he won't ever get married. He just told me now that he has a fiancee he has been keeping and wants to get married to her. This is a guy I was faithful to and hoped for the better, that has just disappointed me without any remoseful way of breakup. I'm confused and don't know what to do right now, I just hate myself for being this blind over the years.

I encouraged her and told her to let go of the past and move on because a better partner awaits her. I also told her to learn to be deliberate about her decision and what she wants from the start of her next relationship.

Being deliberate doesn't mean desperation, it is simply defining what you want and shaping into it. On no account must you stay in any relationship for too long, especially when it doesn't have any head way. You would know a partner who is serious and ready to end it in "forever', if you pay a close attention to every detail of that relationship.

Written by Dolly Korede
Dolly's signature,
Love coach.